Connections make shooting difficult to bear

by MIKE NEUMANN The Independent

“Shooting at NIU.”
That’s all it said. There were no explanations and little information available. As I write this today, not much has changed in that regard. Sure, we have the names of the victims and the gunman, but any logical reason this event occurred is not available. In this case, it will never be available, simply because a logical explanation for such a tragedy cannot exist.
When I read that text message sent to me at 3:56 p.m. Feb. 14, less than an hour after gunshots rang out in Cole Hall, I quickly turned to the Internet and flicked on the radio for more information. Over the course of that night, and well into early Friday morning, I clung to my laptop.
Not even three years ago, I was taking a photography class in the basement of Cole Hall. Not once during my time at Northern Illinois University did I fear for my safety, even with increases in school shootings that seem to have occurred ever since Columbine. It wasn’t going to happen at my school, not at NIU.
And yet, less than three years later, I sit here writing this column. It’s strange, really, the different reaction one has to a situation when he has connections to it.
When I heard about the Virginia Tech shootings last April, I was sad for the victims and all those involved. I was no less sad for the NIU victims, but that sadness was mixed with a sense of anger that made this news altogether different for me to absorb.
I’ve thought about my connection to NIU a lot recently. Sure, it is my alma mater, and no graduate wants something like this associated with his or her school. It’s the deeper connections I have, however, that have rattled me the most.
All of the close friends I made in college have since graduated or moved on. For the first year or so after my graduation, I’d take frequent trips back to NIU to visit friends. DeKalb had become a home during the time I spent there, and home is never easy to leave for good, especially when it’s only about an hour away.
But something happened the following year. My friends at NIU, along with weekend trips to DeKalb, became few and far between. Most of those I knew had moved on in their professional careers. Some are engaged or married. Some have bought houses. Because of that, it seemed like my connections to the university had vanished. That changed when I received that text message.
Within minutes I was able to recall at least a half-dozen acquaintances from my days as a student at NIU. Until Feb. 14, I had not thought about the freshmen students during my senior year, who are, for the most part, seniors themselves now.
Watching the news that night, there was an interview with a student I had worked with at The Northern Star, NIU’s student-run newspaper. She had been in Cole Hall during the shootings, but was able to escape without injury.
It wasn’t that long ago, I’ve realized. I’m sure others in my graduating class are feeling the same thing as we remember our former classmates still attending NIU.